i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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