he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize