His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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