yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
and she was petting her beer can
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
