when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
