What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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