the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
