Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
3pm strippers are depressing
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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