Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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