a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
