i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize