the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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