That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Congratulations! We have a period
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
