The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
