His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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