Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
