Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
