I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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