Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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