Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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