I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
