If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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