Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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