We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
