you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
and you fell through a lawn chair
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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