me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Everclear isn't food dammit
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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