shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
