That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
