Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
