hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
