Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
