I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
