Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
