Dude my mom stole all your condoms
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
