this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
