I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize