I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize