Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize