im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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