she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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