Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
