dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
