If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I could fuck to npr.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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