cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
