Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
