She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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