if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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