I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
