Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
