therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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