I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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