Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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