Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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