I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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