I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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