Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
