But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
