unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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