somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
