how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
