Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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