you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
