Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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