Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
