If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
