and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
