i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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