remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
