Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Small penises have feelings too.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
