I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
