At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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