i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You are the jesus of drinking
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
