I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
