Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
