I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
