Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
