she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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