I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
