i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize