call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
